Abandoned as a child, former cop Dawn Smikle turns pain into purpose

After being abandoned at a police station by her mother and spending years in state care, Dawn Smikle has turned her childhood trauma into a source of inspiration for others through her debut book, Grace Beyond Brokenness. Smikle’s difficult childhood began with her experience of being an outside child, leaving her feeling unwanted in both her mother’s and father’s families. “I'm an outside child for both parents.

So my stepdad thought I was an additional bill to the family, and because of lack of support from my dad for me, my mom was frustrated,” Smikle told Observer Online. What’s worse, she said she was sexually abused by a close male relative when she was a young child. I live years of being bitter, but I'm grateful that God allowed me to surpass that part of my life where I can face him and talk to him… I am at peace with what he did to me, and he apologised to me some years ago, and I find peace within my heart to just move forward,” the now 39-year-old said.

Smikle was just 13 years old when her mother left her at the Spanish Town Police Station amid family difficulties which resulted in her becoming a ward of the state and being placed at Glenhope Place of Safety on Maxfield Avenue in St Andrew. She spent her early teenage years at Glenhope Place of Safety before being transferred to Windsor Girls' Home in St Ann. Smikle recalled the sadness of spending Christmas and Mother's Day in state care while other children returned home to their families.

“When Christmas comes around and Mother's Day and all those kind of special moments, it brings me sadness because everybody's getting the chance of going home to a family and I have to stay in the system because I got nowhere to go,” she said. She said she was regarded as one of the worst children in state care. She also recalled hurtful comments from some staff members who told her that she would never amount to anything.

It was the support of mentors and church groups that helped her gradually overcome her anger and learn to accept love and care from others, Smikle said. Among those she said made a lasting impact on her was Dr Winklet-Gallimore of Church on the Rock in St Andrew, who continued to mentor and support her even after she was transferred to Windsor Girls' Home in St Ann. “We normally write letters to each other, and there were other church family groups like Faith Chapel in K…