Caregivers need to take care of themselves, too

(AP) — For Jessica Renda, the breaking point was a particularly chaotic Christmas season. Consumed by her eldest daughter’s mental and behavioral health struggles, she stopped exercising or doing anything else that brought her joy. Forget holiday magic, she was barely hanging on.

“After that, I was like, ‘I really need to take care of myself,’” she said. “We always tell people that old cliché: It’s like the oxygen mask on a plane. You can’t be a successful or good caregiver to somebody else if you’re not taking care of yourself.” Renda leads a support group for parents and caregivers for the New Hampshire chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, where she vigorously promotes self-care.

And she’s gotten better at taking her own advice, finding time for herself and setting better boundaries. “I joke sometimes, ‘Is 10 minutes in the shower crying self-care?’ Sometimes it is.” Caregivers are growing in number Nearly one in four adults in the United States, or 63 million people, provided care to adults or children with medical conditions or disabilities in 2025, a total that jumped by almost 50% in 10 years, according to a report by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP. Their work — most of it unpaid — has gotten longer and more intense, the study found, and nearly two-thirds described feeling high emotional stress.

Recognizing those trends, Dartmouth College and its associated healthcare system recently announced the creation of an institute to provide caregivers with services, education, support and access to home health aides. The Family Caregiver Institute will be part of a broader program exploring best practices for serving the nation’s aging or chronically ill population. In the meantime, experts say there are small steps individual caregivers can take themselves to prevent burnout.

That could mean asking a neighbor or another family member to fill in for a brief time to provide a break, said Susan Stearns, executive director of NAMI New Hampshire. She also advises prioritizing sleep and movement, even just quick walks outside. “And if it’s winter and you can’t get outside, I’ve been known to just pace around my house for 10 minutes just to get some movement in because I know I’ll feel better,” she said.

Staying connected to a community also is key, Stearns said, whether th… Forget holiday magic, she was barely hanging on.“After that, I was like, ‘I really need to take care of myself,’” she said.