Life without children

WHILE the figures behind Jamaica’s birth rate crisis paint a daunting picture — women are having an average of 1.3 children in their lifetime, among the lowest in the world — the stories of some of those behind the statistics offer a more intimate perspective. Five middle-aged and elderly Jamaicans shared with the Jamaica Observer their experiences without children, from feelings of anguish and regret to satisfaction and even hope. The respondents, three women and two men ranging from ages 50 to 78, included an entrepreneur in her 50s who never wanted children, a 78-year-old teacher who was unable to conceive, a 56-year-old accountant who never found the right time, a commuter who never found the right woman, and a 65- year-old farmer who was concerned about finances.

Several of the interviewees said their feelings on children were shaped by their relationships with their own parents. “I recall clearly having goals around not being a mother,” said the entrepreneur. An AI-generated image of a happy middle-aged woman who appreciates the freedom being childfree has afforded her.

“My parents were both in their late teens when I was born, so my first goal was not to be a teenage mom; my second goal was not to have the indignity of scrambling to get a taxi while pregnant.” Similarly, the 56-year-old accountant, whose parents passed away within two years of each other before she hit 16, said their deaths were a major reason she shied away from having children early. As a Christian, she did not consider having a child out of wedlock, and years went by without a suitable partner. When she finally found a partner that she wanted to have a child with, she was unable to get pregnant.

“I mean, the amount of pregnancy tests that I have used…one of the times I got so stressed…it just would not happen,” she explained. For the 78-year-old teacher, she was simply unable to get pregnant. She spoke to the Sunday Observer from the senior living facility at which she is now well cared for.

“That was one of my regrets, not having children. But I have accepted it,” she said gently. The teacher, who had a picture of her late husband propped up beside a photo of her younger self in her room, shared that her joy came in the form of caring for her sister who now, in turn, cares for her.

One of the respondents said he never found the right woman, so he has not had any children.